Yes, I am a lemming …
101 things about Amy
1. I’ve been thinking about making this list
2. I wasn’t sure if I could do it and actually go public with it.
3. Katy at katyknits.typepad.com talked me into it.
4. I imagine someday, when I’ve actually got my shit together, I will write a
tell all book.
5. Everyone would say, “I didn’t know that, but I’m not surprised.”
6. I spent as much time (and money) on therapy as I did on graduate school.
7. I spent seven years in graduate school.
8. The therapy was a much better use of the money.
9. When I was a child, I was sexually assaulted by my cousins.
10. It went on for years.
11. The first time I snuck food from the cookie jar was after my first time with
them.
12. I continued to sneak food long after the abuse ended.
13. While I don’t consider it sneaking food now, I still can’t wait to be alone
so I can eat what I want.
14. I’ve been out of therapy for seven years now.
15. My confessions about my eating are my way of motivating myself to go back
in.
16. At the time, I was tired of being so self indulgent, and felt that I really
had graduated.
17. With one husband and two kids demanding all my energy, I could use a little
self-indulgence.
18. My kids are in the other room with the sitter.
19. I am supposed to be working.
20. Since I am running an anti-virus program on a work computer, I will bill for
the time anyway.
21. I like my job.
22. I like my job but I don’t like the people I work for very much.
23. Every week I wonder if this is the week I will get fired or quit
24. Today I signed my kids up for a preschool program that costs more than my
first year of college.
25. It was the only program I could find that would take both of them at the
same time.
26. I really hope I don’t get fired.
27. Although I put in about 40 hours a week, I think of myself as a full time
mom because most of those hours are nights and weekends.
28. I love being a mom.
29. I didn’t think I’d ever get married.
30. I certainly didn’t think I’d ever have children.
31. I met my husband through a yahoo ad.
32. It read simply “ISO an intellectual cowboy who is not afraid of a woman of
substance.”
33. Our first date lasted 8 hours.
34. He was far more interested in my IQ than my weight.
35. Which is funny because my IQ is my goal weight.
36. He comes from a family that is obsessed with intelligence, over any other
quality, like empathy and compassion.
37. He somehow grew up to become the kindest man I know.
38. I want my children to know it is more important to be a good person than a smart one.
39. I am preparing my in-laws for the possibility that my children won’t be
child geniuses.
40. It is an uphill battle.
41. I’ve become addicted to “Queer as Folk”
42. I made it through the entire first season thanks to Netflix last week.
43. I can’t wait till the next set of disks arrive.
44. I used to read Lesbian Detective Stories
45. Yes, there is a whole genre of just that.
46. I got bored with them.
47. If I don’t like a book, I put it down immediately
48. This makes me a very, very naughty book club member
49. I had a secret crush on a man in my book club.
50. He & his wife moved away.
51. While never actually tempted, it is nice to have the idea of temptation
removed.
52. I like the word naughty.
53. I like the word cross even more.
54. My grandmother, who taught me to knit, used it a few times when watching me
as a child, often asking if I was trying to make her cross (angry).
55. I use it every day with my kids.
56. Cate will say to Alex – “Don’t do that, it makes mommy cross.”
57. I feel as if I’ve been lifted into a Victorian movie set every time I hear
her say it.
58. I’m done having children.
59. I had a deal with my husband that if our son was over 9 lbs 8 oz, we’d name
him Angus.
60. He was 9lb 8oz and not a gram over, so we called him Alexander.
61. We still have paint cans in the basement for “Seamus’s Room” which would
have been Cate’s name, if she was a he.
62. We didn’t name Alex that because when we printed out test announcements
everyone asked what kind of name “See Mus” was.
63. I gave birth to both my kids naturally in a free standing birth center.
64. The moment before I crowned, the pain was so extreme, I felt like I turned
myself inside out and was suddenly feeling the best orgasm of my life.
65. Alex was born still in the bag – my water never broke.
66. I’ve been in a mommy group since Cate was six weeks old.
67. The other mommies have become my best friends.
68. I’ve never been good with girlfriends
69. I’ve had lots of guy friends, some of whom I never slept with.
70. I like running away.
71. But not for very long.
72. I dream about running away to Amsterdam.
73. I’d open up a hand painted hemp yarn store next to a coffee shop.
74. I’d live on a houseboat.
75. I’d be the kind of woman who has young lovers, but then sends them on their
way before they get too attached.
76. I think you need an escape fantasy or two to stay sane as a mom to a toddler
and a preschooler.
77. I must confess I open a bottle of Guinness beer every night and seldom
finish it.
78. My husband thinks this is a sin.
79. I am slowly making him undergo my own queer eye for the straight guy make
over.
80. I’m quietly replacing his pleated pants with non pleated pants.
81. The transformation is amazing.
82. He had six pack abs, arm muscles that would make a nun swoon and was shaped
like an inverted triangle when he met me. He isn’t any more, but looks better
because he wears clothing that fits him now.
83. I never thought I could be this happily married.
84. No one in my family thought I could as well.
85. I am adopted.
86. I have an adopted brother.
87. I want to give medals of honor to women who give their children up for
adoption.
88. I have no intention of finding my birthmother, but she is welcome to find
me.
89. If I ever met her, the first thing I’d say is “Thank You.”
90. Then I’d check out if my big ass is hereditary.
91. My birth name is Kimberly Ann.
92. Which doesn’t suite me at all.
93. I don’t think of myself as having a birth father.
94. I have Red Heart afghans all over my house and wouldn’t trade them for all
the Collinette in the world.
95. My grandmother made them for me and she isn’t making them anymore.
96. I miss her and feel guilty that I can’t get to see her more often. But I
can’t take the kids into the nursing home.
97. I hope I never have to live in a nursing home.
98. I hope I never have to put my husband in a nursing home.
99. How did I end up at such a depressing 99?
100. I am actually a very upbeat, cheery person, although this list doesn’t
really represent that, does it?
101. I can’t leave things on a bad note
6. December, 2004 at 21:49
Wow Amy! What a list. You are even more interesting than I imagined. I am sorry for your abuse as a child. I loved working in the field of child abuse. The kids were incredible. The strength they possessed…unbelieveable. Thanks for sharing your list and glimpse into pieces of your life.
7. December, 2004 at 08:21
I wish I could change #9 and 10 for you.
7. December, 2004 at 10:08
What an amazing list and how scary that so much of it sounds similar to my own life (especially 9-13, being married to someone who prefers intelligence and wit over weight concerns, and while I only read a little of the lesbian detective story stuff, I sometimes read slash (which is embarassing enough to admit) oh and I am adopted (as are the kids) as well, although my brother is a bio.) Clearly we were seperated at birth…..
7. December, 2004 at 11:54
Amy, what a great list - it’s on of the best 100/101 things lists I’ve ever read. What a great record of who you are and how far you’ve come.
7. December, 2004 at 13:37
I liked your list very much: stream of consciousness thing. Thank you for sharing a part of yourself. Altho, you do need to invest in some good recipes that use Guiness!!
8. December, 2004 at 22:03
Amy, I think that the 100 things list should be used in therapy!
Thank you for sharing all 101 things!
Thank you so much! I will always think AMY when I spin them! 
I got the most wonderful package in the mail! Thank you so much! I haven’t gotten to it yet but look forward to it! Bethany is eyeing the red/black fiber!
11. December, 2004 at 20:21
One of my sons was born with the sac intact as well! My water never broke either. Its supposed to be very unusual–probably because hospitals will customarily break the sac.
12. December, 2004 at 07:49
Hi there,
Completely off topic, ut I just read about Lara’s accident (GSRP), she lives very near my boyfriend’s grandparents, and while we don’t have a visit currently planned, we need to plan one, if you still need someone to meet Lara, I might be able to do that. Please let me know.
Thanks!
Katey
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